The Heartbreak of a Working Mom

The other night I was put on call for the first half of my shift at work, so I had the chance to get the kids down to bed before leaving. My little 4 year old, Peyton, got in his bed and snuggled up with his big stuffed bear that he calls Sandy. I was tucking him in and told him that I had to leave for work in a while. I don't like the idea of him waking up in the middle of the night, expecting me to be home, and not be able to find me. I gave him his hugs and kisses and told him I loved him. I said, "goodbye buddy, I'll see you in the morning." He said, "Mama, don't say goodbye....because I'll miss you." He had the most serious look on his face. I said, "Ok, can I just say goodnight then?" He gave me his cute little smile and said, "yeah." So, I finished up with, "goodnight buddy, I'll see you in the morning." I was very grateful I was able to have the chance to tuck him in, but wow, I wasn't expecting the heartache associated with it. It really is hard to watch your child cry, as though they will never see you again, while you are walking out the door. After I've worked for a few days in a row, it seems to get easier, but at the end of those days when Peyton gets home from school he always says, "Hi Mama! Are you happy to see me?!" We have a nice little reunion, then everything goes back to normal. It's always been hard for me to leave the kids to go to work, but I know that their Dad is home with them while I'm gone. It makes it a little easier...which is partly why I choose to work night shifts. I guess it's something we will all have to live with for the time being. It's truly tough being a working Mom!