The other night I was put on call for the first half of my shift at work, so I had the chance to get the kids down to bed before leaving. My little 4 year old, Peyton, got in his bed and snuggled up with his big stuffed bear that he calls Sandy. I was tucking him in and told him that I had to leave for work in a while. I don't like the idea of him waking up in the middle of the night, expecting me to be home, and not be able to find me. I gave him his hugs and kisses and told him I loved him. I said, "goodbye buddy, I'll see you in the morning." He said,
"Mama, don't say goodbye....because I'll miss you." He had the most serious look on his face. I said, "Ok, can I just say goodnight then?" He gave me his cute little smile and said, "yeah." So, I finished up with, "goodnight buddy, I'll see you in the morning." I was very grateful I was able to have the chance to tuck him in, but wow, I wasn't expecting the heartache associated with it. It really is hard to watch your child cry, as though they will never see you again, while you are walking out the door. After I've worked for a few days in a row, it seems to get easier, but at the end of those days when Peyton gets home from school he always says, "Hi Mama! Are you happy to see me?!" We have a nice little reunion, then everything goes back to normal. It's always been hard for me to leave the kids to go to work, but I know that their Dad is home with them while I'm gone. It makes it a little easier...which is partly why I choose to work night shifts. I guess it's something we will all have to live with for the time being.
It's truly tough being a working Mom!
3 comments:
I lud you....
that is such a sweet story! Peyton has grown so much and so fast it seems to me. He was so cute seeing while I was up there! you and Jared are wonderful parents doing what you do! lud you!
I hear you!!
Work brings sanity and heartache into my life....and in one lump. I can't imagine working days -- I figure at least my kids are sleeping when I'm away. But they still know....
Hang in there...you are an awesome sweet wonderful mother!!
It's Mandy Christensen. I found you thru Mavis...My heart goes out to you. I know how you feel. "please don't go to work mommmy!" The other day I told Zac -who is 3 now! (BTW I can't believe Peyton is 4!) That I had to go to work and help babies. He said, "I want to be a baby!" Isn't that terrible. It breaks your heart.
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